Category: Relationships

Forgiveness and unforgiveness

November 11, 2023

Matthew 6:14-15 NLT – “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. [15] But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Forgiveness is a lost art in some areas of society. People hold on to grudges and won’t let go. Sometimes for many years, sadly.

This is especially true in the online world. Small things get blown out of proportion. A simple slip of the tongue can lead to a hate campaign and people being deeply deeply offended.

One thing I have purposed in my heart to do is let forgiveness flow. As Martin Luther King, Jr said, “Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude”.

As hard as it is sometimes, I have to remember people are imperfect humans who make mistakes. Jesus is the only One who walked the earth that is perfect. Everyone else is not.

Sometimes we have to admit to ourselves that yes we have been hurt or offended, but unforgiveness is not part of who we want to be as Jesus followers.

In the above passage, which comes right after the Lord’s prayer, we see that our forgiveness has implications for our own faith journey. Jesus said that if we want God to forgive our sins, we have to forgive others.

What? I have to forgive others to be forgiven. This is hard Christianity. This is where the rubber hits the road. But it is what Jesus wants for us. He wants us to let go of our pain and release forgiveness to others.

It is not an easy thing to do. In some cases it is impossible without God’s help. We have to be like David in the Psalms and be really honest with God. And then ask Him to help us to forgive and let go.

I know in my own life I have asked God to help me let go of long held unforgiveness and when I did, it was like a huge weight was lifted off me. I felt light for the first time in years.

How about you? Have you things you are holding on to? Is it time to ask God to help you let them go and forgive?

Prayer

Dear God, I do not want to hold unforgiveness in my heart. Please help me today to let things go. Help me to forgive those who have hurt me. I pray I can release forgiveness today. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Health and well-being?

August 3, 2023

What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?

This is an interesting question as the WordPress prompt today. I have a health and well-being routine that I have followed for many years.

1. Devotions – I start my days, or at least in the first hour, with prayer, Bible reading and a devotional like Our Daily Bread. This keeps me in tune with God.

2. Exercise – I exercise six days a week in a combination of weights and cycling. This helps me to keep trim and fit and also gives me a lot of enjoyment and relaxation.

3. Work – I make sure I work less days than I have days off. I work three days a week now and have four days off. I find as I get older this helps me to feel well and more rested.

4. Family – I find spending time at home with my family helps me to relax and wind down. My wife and I talk a lot and I really enjoy time with our kids and their partners too.

5. Alone – As someone who is quite introverted I need my alone time too. I talk and listen a lot as a part of my job, so I get full easily and time alone helps me to order my thoughts and chill out.

These are my current things that help my health and well-being. They have remained fairly constant over the years with some slight changes. I guess for me it is a case of if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Most productive?

May 2, 2023

When do you feel most productive?

I feel most productive when I am one on one with people. When I can sit and talk, or walk and talk with others, I feel I am in my sweet spot. When I can listen, ask questions and encourage them I feel God can use me to bless them. It is this one on one time that is a big reason that God put me here on earth. Often I go away feeling blessed and like I have used my God given gifts to help others.

God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. 1 Peter 4:10 NLT

Ministry reflections

April 27, 2023

In the past week I have been on holidays and have been reflecting on the ministries I have been involved with over the years.

Over the last 30 years I have been involved with youth groups, led Bible study groups, Pastored a church, been an Elder, a lay preacher, been on the prayer team, helped with emergency food parcels and headed up a para church ministry.

In all of these roles my heart has been to care for and encourage people and to help people grow closer to Jesus. It may have been delivered in a slightly different way because of my job role, but the focus has always been the same.

At the moment I am working in the role of Chaplain. It is something that I have never done before in an official sense. But I guess no matter where I have worked I have been the “unofficial” Chaplain of my workplace. I have often listened, encouraged, had spiritual conversations and prayed for people as the need arose.

Although I did enjoy being a Pastor of a church, I do really enjoy being a Chaplain more. I get to talk to and encourage people, listen to their struggles and pray for them. And in the role I am in I am with a lot more non Christian people. I can share God’s love and light in a real and practical way. This is something I really enjoy too.

Choosing forgiveness

January 26, 2023

I really like this thought from today’s Our Daily Bread. It talks about choosing forgiveness and give an example from marriage…

“Eighty years of marriage! My husband’s great-uncle Pete and great-aunt Ruth celebrated this remarkable milestone on May 31, 2021. After a chance meeting in 1941 when Ruth was still in high school, the young couple were so eager to get married that they eloped the day after Ruth graduated. Pete and Ruth believe God brought them together and has guided them all these years.

Reflecting on eight decades of marriage, Pete and Ruth both agree that one key to sustaining their relationship has been the decision to choose forgiveness. Anyone in a healthy relationship understands that we all regularly need forgiveness for the ways we hurt each other, whether through an unkind word, a broken promise, or a forgotten task.”