What forgiveness is not

Forgiveness is not an easy subject to talk about. Sometimes it is even harder to do. In my life I have had some pretty big things that people have done to me that I just had to forgive and let go of for my own health and well being.

While working through the need to forgive I came across a book in my pastoral care training by June Hunt called Biblical Counselling on Keys to Forgiveness. It really helped me to understand what forgiveness is and what it is not.

The list below really helped me to understand what forgiveness is not and it allowed me to release my hurt and pain to God for Him to deal with at the right time.

Forgiveness is not circumventing God’s justice.…

— It is allowing God to execute His justice in His time and in His way.

Forgiveness is not waiting for “time to heal all wounds.” …

— It is clear that time doesn’t heal wounds—some people will not allow healing.

Forgiveness is not letting the guilty “off the hook.” …

— It is moving the guilty from your hook to God’s hook.

Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation.…

— It takes two for reconciliation, only one for forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not excusing unjust behavior.…

— It is acknowledging that unjust behavior is without excuse, while still forgiving.

Forgiveness is not explaining away the hurt.…

— It is working through the hurt.

Forgiveness is not based on what is fair.…

— It was not “fair” for Jesus to hang on the cross—but He did so that we could be forgiven.

Forgiveness is not being a weak martyr.…

— It is being strong enough to be Christlike.

Forgiveness is not stuffing your anger.…

— It is resolving your anger by releasing the offense to God.

Forgiveness is not a natural response.…

— It is a supernatural response, empowered by God.

Forgiveness is not denying the hurt.…

— It is feeling the hurt and releasing it.

Forgiveness is not being a doormat.…

— It is seeing that, if this were so, Jesus would have been the greatest doormat of all!

Forgiveness is not conditional.…

— It is unconditional, a mandate from God to everyone.

Forgiveness is not forgetting.…

— It is necessary to remember before you can forgive.

Forgiveness is not a feeling.…

— It is a choice—an act of the will.

Hunt, J. (2008) Biblical Counseling Keys on Forgiveness: The Freedom to Let Go. Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart, pp. 3–4.